First Kill
by Nixie De Angel
Summary: Most people think Happy's first kill is for the Club...
1. Birth of a Killer

What no one knows is that his first kill isn't for the club. Ironically its for a girl. Not any girl though. She probably woulda been his Old Lady. back then though she was simply his baby cousin's best friend when he first met her. He remembers Rosa, his baby cousin, died from cancer and that's when he took her on. Coral became almost nearly his world. Slowly and day by day the girl became the Sun of his universe.

He walked her to and from school before he got his first bike. He threatened everyone that bullied her. Helped to find her tutors when she starts struggling with school. He make's sure her mother's boyfriends know what will happen if they touched her. He make's sure she's feed and all that rot. He take's her around the town, buy's her what she needs, make's sure she's always got a smile on her face.

Starting with Coral is simply because he promised Rosa he'd look after the girl because besides Rosa no one else really cared about her. So he does the absolute basic's at first. Keeps her safe, in school and as happy as he can. But slowly he starts doing more and more to make her happy. The first time she gives him that mega watt smile he swears he's gonna get the smile from her once a day for the rest of his life. Its her who gave him the nick name that people now fear to hear. She was the one to push him to become a professional tattoo artist. She was the first person to ever be tattooed by him after he was certified.

It's a week before they are moving to Washington that he was twenty minutes late picking her up that it happens. He had been held up at work so when he finally does get to the diner he's already on edge. He lets his anger blossom a little when she's not out front waiting for him. So he goes around looking for her and asking her coworkers where she was at. After another ten minutes he begins in his own way to start quietly freaking out. After a few more moments he gets on his bike and starts searching for her. Taking ever route from the diner to where their currently staying at but its no look. He can't find her any where. It's almost dawn when he heads to her mother's place to see if she's there or if the old crack whore knows anything about his girl.

What he doesn't expect to find his Elnora, Coral's mother talking to cops. After a few moments of questions and a rather heated argument between him and the older woman he finally finds out what happened. She had been found beaten and raped a few blocks from the high school. He only stay's to listen to find out what hospital she's been taken to before he's on his bike and speeding away. When he see's her he can feel something in him snap and a need to hurt over take his other sense's but then she looks up and reaches her hand out to him and he's by her side in a few quick strides and he stay's with her. Two day's later she's out and goes straight to their room and cries since the attack. He curls around her and listen's when she's finally ready to tell him what really happened.

The day before they leave he hunts down the bastard that hurt his girl. He beats the man who turned out to be a student who had been expelled the same year he had been. He takes great pleasure in making the other man howl and scream like a little girl as he hurts him, beats him almost to death before he shoots the other man in the groin. Its a week after they've been in Washington that he finds out the guy bleed to death and the cops have no leads as to who could do something like that to another human begin.

A month after he begins to prospect for the Sons is when he stops by Coral's apartment to find it empty except for a letter on the counter addressed to him. It's the first and last time he lets himself truly break before he composes himself like a true Son. He buries everything he's feeling and locks it away where is heart should be but is no longer there. He does admitted though that he'll never take an Old Lady because as cheesy as it sounds and it is, he knows that Coral is it for him. He'll never find a woman like her and he's accepted that almost as soon as the thought entered his head.

It's years later that he break's again though. He's down in Charming on a run when he's asked to go with Tig to get Gemma and Jax from the Grave Yard. Their walking along when he glance's and freeze's. Tig doesn't notice until he's walking mother and son back the way he came. When the three come upon the silent killer though, their breath catches and they watch. Happy's on his knees in front of the grave and his hand is stretched in front of him, trembling as he trace's the name on the head stone. Gemma in a moment of understanding sends Tig and Jax away and stay's with the silent man. They don't speak, she simply places a hand on his shoulder and stay's there.

After a while he stands and they head to his bike. The three never ask him what it was that happened in the Grave Yard and he doesn't offer to explain anything. Until a few months later he asks Tig and Gemma to come with him to the Cemetery. He takes them to her, to meet her in a weird way, he thinks. After arriving they stay silent for a while before he explains. He tells them everything. From his cousin's promise, to falling in love, to letting her go and to embracing his beast. It's a while later when Juice begins to prospect that he has the kid find out the details of Coral's death. He only tells Gemma, Tig and be default Clay that for the next few days he'd be unreachable.

It's the last time he kill's for anyone other than the Club. Like the first time he killed for her he doesn't get these marked on his body. They don't weigh on his soul or his consciences but he'll remember all three kills better then he'll remember any other kill. He smiled brightly for the first time in years when he kills her mother. He actually cracks a rare grin he he kills Coral's husband, who had gotten off for killing her because the cops screwed up the evidence.

He doesn't have her tattooed on him and he knows he never will. Its ironic, he thinks, that everyone thinks his first and only kills have been for the club. But no one will ever know that the beast within him the rattles its cage to kill was first brought out by a girl. Not just any girl either. A brunette, with soft brown eyes and a dimple smile. It's why he only goes for blonds. Because they look nothing like his brown eyed angle.


	2. Letter Goodbye

Dear Happy,

I'm sorry I couldn't say this to you in person. I just couldn't bare to see the hurt in your eyes. I can't stay...After all that's happened, I feel like I've lost myself. Really though, we both know there was never really and I or you, it was always an us. I don't regret my time with you. God this is so hard to write.

I don't know what to do any more. It's why I'm leaving. I need to figure things out. I can't do it here. I want, no I need to do this by myself. God this hurts. I don't want you to feel like this is your fault in any way. It's not and I don't blame you for what happened. I need you to know that. So please don't fold in on yourself. You gotta promise me that.

I don't want you waiting around for me. I have no idea how long this will take and if you meet someone, I want you to take the chance with her. I just want you to find happiness and not be lonely...If you do...well I'll be happy for you. It's all I've ever want for you. Is to be happy that is.

I love you so much and I'm glad you have your brother's to look after you now. Just don't do anything stupid like get yourself killed. Please be careful Hap. I need you to live, because I don't know if I can anymore and one of us needs to see this roller coaster ride to the end.

Please be careful.

Coral, your Angel.


	3. Memory of a Song

Sitting in the auditorium again was just plain weird, Happy thought. Rolling his eyes as he watch the group of girls in front of him point, giggle and stare at him. He reigned in his control tighter. Coral had told him he didn't have to come but he said he would. So here he sat and glared at everyone around him. It was obvious he didn't wanna be here but his girl had mentioned she would be evolved with the school event so here he sat in the uncomfortable seat and waited for her to appear.

He half halfheartedly listened and watched the kids as the evening went on but he was itching to bolt. He stilled himself and took a few deep breaths and squashed the urge to run and remained waiting for the brown eyed girl. Though he was considering to bolt after she was done. No need after that to stay in this room, with _these_ people. Looking up he held back a sigh of relief as he watched his Angel walk across the stage to the mic that was in the middle. Wearing nothing but a plain white dress Happy felt his interest peek. She hadn't been wearing that when they had arrived.

Though he was honestly floored when he heard the music start. He watched as she opened her mouth and what came out honest to god, fucking floored him to hell and back.

_"Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone_

_I hear you call my name_

_And it feels like home"_

He wondered how he had never noticed this before. He had heard her hum to herself before but she had never sung. She sounded like pure beauty. Her voice was heaven. It was pure and simple and caught you by surprise. He noted that her eyes were closed though as she sang.

_"When you call my name it's like a little prayer_

_I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there_

_In the midnight hour I can feel your power_

_Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there"_

He watched as she slowly opened her eyes. Sweeping them across the room before settling them on him. He tossed her a wink and he was pretty sure that a faint blush was working its way across her face.

_"I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing_

_I have no choice, I hear your voice_

_Feels like flying_

_I close my eyes, Oh God I think I'm falling_

_Out of the sky, I close my eyes_

_Heaven help me"_

Listening as her voice grow in power. In emotion. Happy felt his heart clench as he listened to his Angel. He didn't wanna hear _that_ ever again. She sounded so heart broken on the last line. Squashing the urge to wrap her up in his arms, he forced himself to simply sit and listen to her.

_"When you call my name it's like a little prayer_

_I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there_

_In the midnight hour I can feel your power_

_Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there_"

He grinned as she finally began to move a little. Just a small sway but that was more then he'd ever thought to see her do. Coral hated public place's almost as much as he did. Neither were fond of people or being the center of attention. He'd never tell her that was the real reason he was here. To give her silent support, to give her all he could just from his pressences.

_"Like a child you whisper softly to me_

_You're in control just like a child_

_Now I'm dancing_

_It's like a dream, no end and no beginning_

_You're here with me, it's like a dream_

_Let the choir sing"_

Blinking slowly he watched. _She's so fucking beautiful,_ he thought. She should have better than him.

_"When you call my name it's like a little prayer_

_I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there_

_In the midnight hour I can feel your power_

_Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there"_

He watched as she raised her arm and pointed at him as she sang the, or what he was assuming, chorus of the song.

_"When you call my name it's like a little prayer_

_I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there_

_In the midnight hour I can feel your power_

_Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there"_

_"Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone_

_I hear you call my name_

_And it feels like home"_

He felt his breath catch again. _She was signing to him! _He swore as realization dawned on him.

_"Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there_

_Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery_

_Just like a dream, you are not what you seem_

_Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there"_

_Just like a prayer, I'll take you there_

_It's like a dream to me. Just like a prayer,_

_I'll take you there. It's like a dream to me._

_Just like a prayer, I'll take you there_

_It's like a dream to me. Just like a prayer,_

_I'll take you there. It's like a dream to me._

_Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there_

_Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery_

_Just like a dream, you are not what you seem_

_Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there_

_Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there_

_Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery_

_Just like a dream, you are not what you seem_

_Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there. _

_Your voice can take me there like a prayer"_

As she finished he felt himself stand before anyone and he began clapping loudly once she was truly done. After a few moments she seemed to glide from the stage and he resumed his seat. All thoughts of leaving now, he wanted to know if his girl would win this Talent Show shit or not. Though he was positive it'd be Coral. No one held a candle to his girl. Not to mention more than half the room had stood when she had finished singing. No one else had gotten that reaction form the crowd.

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Blinking slowly out of the memory daze Happy looked around. Tig and Gemma were in front of him, along with Clay and Chibs. He noted the last was bent over his bloodied hand. _When the hell had he done that?_ He asked himself. Blinking again as he let his eyes travel to the floor. He must have squeezed his drink to tightly as he eyed the mess that the prospect was now waiting to clean up.

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I'll be adding piece's to this story over time. Thanks for reading.


	4. It'll Lessen

Happy sipped at his beer as he stared down at his scared knuckles of his left hand. Setting the barely cold beer down he flexed his left hand before letting out a barely audibly sigh before lifting his gaze up towards the two men he was sitting with. Opie's look of lost faith disturbed him more than he'd care to admit, not that he ever would. While Jax's slightly widen gaze was the only tell of his uneasiness for the conversation that was about to happen.

"Does this ever get easier?" The larger biker asked after a few more moments of tense silence. "The pain of losing her." He clarified at the silence that greeted his question. "Of knowing she'll never walk back into your life no matter how badly you need her too. Does it ever get easier?"

"After a time," Happy began when it became clear that none of the men had an answer for the bearded brunette man. "It'll lessen but it'll never truly leave you," he rasped softly before plucking up his beer again and finishing it off. Dropping the empty bottle down, he stared at the brown tinted glass with a knowing glint in his eyes. "Some days it'll seem like she's away visiting with a relative, instead of being dead. Other's it'll be to hard to breath." Blinking he let his eyes go blank again. "And then there'll be the days you pick something of hers up and maybe you'll laugh or you'll break down and drown in your anger. Your grief and pain."

"What was she like?" Tig piped up after finding his voice. It was the first glimpse Happy had ever given to the mystery that was the grave that rested not far off. The same cemetery that now held another brother's woman. "The woman from the graveyard," he added as sharp narrowed dark, nearly black eyes glared up at him. "The one who got away."

"Who?" Bobby asked from his seat at the bad. He looked back and forth between the close friends with confusion clearly written on his face. Which wasn't nearly hard to muster up when Happy was involved. The silent Son hard spoke of his past or family. The only thing that was well known about the half Latino was that he didn't speak a word of Spanish and loved and cherished his mother almost as much as he did the club.

"Her name," the silent killer began as he shoved his chair away from the table and stood up. "Was Coral," he paused to shake his head as he walked over to the bar to get another drink. "And she was about as different from me as anyone could get." He let his lips twist into a ghost of a smile before his face went blank again. "Tiny frame, with a mane of dark brown hair and a dimple smile that could melt the coldest son of a bitch in five seconds flat."

"Is she the one?" Jax stupid himself from completing the sentence but Happy understands what he's trying to ask with out being to pushy.

"Yeah. She's the one," he murmurs before downing the shot of Jack Daniels he had poured for himself. "She'd have liked you Bobby," he stated after another two shots. "She loved to bake. I think almost as much as you do brother," he turned to stare at the grizzly haired Jewish man.

"What happened to her?" Tig asked as silence descended upon them once again. "Why she in that grave and not here with you?" He added as he leant back into his chair.

Happy turned to scan the room before moving to look back down at his scared knuckles. Blinking a few times he swallowed back the emotions that were brewing just beneath the surface before tensing his body and pushing them back down. "About a week before we were gonna move up to Tacoma, she'd been beaten and raped."

Grabbing the bottle, Happy turned and moved back to sit down. Taking a swig he looked up and looked eyes with Tig. "She tried to move past it but when you stop being a person and become one, you can't." He didn't need to explain further. Most of the men understood what it was like to become attached to a woman that could keep their head above the current. And like he and Opie, those who did understand, also got what it was like to lose that thin strap that held them together.

"I don't get it." Happy snorted before turning to look at Juice and Half-Sack, who both looked at him. Confusion seemed to be etched into their entire bodies. "What do you mean by that?" The younger blond man asked what Juice clearly wouldn't.

"He means," Tig spoke up as he shot the prospect a weary glance. "You'll understand once you've live a little and actually lose a lot." His tone booked no room for argument and his gaze spoke volumes more of understanding. "Now shut the fuck up." The SAA snapped before he turned his gaze back to his brother.

"After she'd left to find herself," Happy continued before taking a swig of the liquor. "She met a man and fell in love." He paused again to swallow back the serge of rage that sped through his veins. "He wasn't what she thought." It's quiet as his mind goes back to that moment in the grave yard. "He beat her to death." It's the first time he's spoken that aloud and he sucks in a sharp breath when he realizes it. Shaking his head, he turns back to look at Opie.

"It's like I said brother," he began in his normal rasp a few moments later. "Some days are gonna be easier. Other's," he paused as he tired to convey what he wanted to say in his eyes. "Not so much. But it'll lessen with time." With that he pushes himself up once more, bottle secure in his hand before he turns and stalks to his dorm room. He never intended to share that much with anyone. Not about his Angel. And not about thoughts he'd never been able to voice before tonight. Shaking his head as he pulled his keys out to unlock his door.

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Like I've said before, reviews are nice. Thanks for reading. Hope you all liked it. Have a good day or night. Thanks again. You guys are great.


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